my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
