i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
