he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
