If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
