Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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