So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
