i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
