I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
