I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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