his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
