I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
