i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
