There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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