Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
