I accidentally had phone sex last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
