Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
