I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
