i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
