It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
