Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
