Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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