'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Text me some of your sweat
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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