Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
