I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
