then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
