he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
