She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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