I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
