we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
