can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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