now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
