yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Farmville is her only friend.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
