watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
