Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
