You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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