At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
