hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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