check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
