so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
