Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
apparently the secret to your success is patron
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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