how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Randomize
