Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
