and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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