Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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