Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
