so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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