Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
