idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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