So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
