the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
